so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I want to fling myself into the sun
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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