Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Randomize
