Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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