im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize