Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
