so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
