I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
