i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
