Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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