you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
