I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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