He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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