im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
