Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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