I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
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Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
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I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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