Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
