I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
