I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
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I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
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I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Im part way to drunk.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
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