why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
you traded sex for a burrito?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
