yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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