Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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