if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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