I molested 6 butterflies tonight
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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