Me. At least after what I've been through.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
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Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
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I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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