um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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