i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
one might say we're banned from that church
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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