where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You have to summon your inner elephant
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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