What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
and i looked up. we had an audience...
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
