did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
