how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
