shes about as inviting as chlamydia
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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