Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
