Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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