I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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