They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
