Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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