To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
My vagina is very pro this idea
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
