ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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