Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
