Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
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Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
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When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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