feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Can you repeat that, but with context?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
