So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
She even gives head with a lisp.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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