i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
