the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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