I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
