I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize