i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
