So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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