I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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