I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
