Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
