You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
