but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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