dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
