why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
should my penis look like a turkey
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Randomize
