Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
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So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
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They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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