i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
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