im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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