Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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