1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
