Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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