im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Randomize
