dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
