she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
