the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'm just crazy horny about you
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
