We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
