come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
